it's about damn time!
by shikkon-rage
Summary: everyone corners inuyasha and makes him confess his love for sombody... but what happens when naraku gets involved?
1. down to da nitty gritty

Choice of a Lifetime  
  
Disclaimer: you wish I owned inuyasha. Don't try to sue me. You'll be lucky to end up with a nickel. Cause I don't own it. Nope.  
  
Inuyasha: Kagome! We're out of ramen!!!  
  
Kagome: so what? What am I the ramen god? Fix your own d*** ramen! The only way you can change my mind is to * thinks of something he'll never do* is to give your brother the tetsiga * smirk *  
  
Inuyasha: oh h*** no! I'd rather give naraku all the shikkon shards!!!  
  
Kag: oh well looks like your on your own then.  
  
Sango: henati! (Sonic boom smack)  
  
Miroku: x_____x  
  
Kag: why in the world does he do that?  
  
Shippo: maybe he's mentally unstable.  
  
Inu: from all those blows to the head it may be possible.  
  
????: maybe while he's asleep, we can give him implants!  
  
All except Miroku: hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Miroku: wtf? Sango getting implants?  
  
Kag: no one said anything about implants.  
  
Shippo: told ya he's mentally unstable!  
  
Miroku: I come from a broken home and I'm very lonely.  
  
Inu/Shippo: what a load of bull!!  
  
Kag/Sango: d*** straight. ????: kukukukukukukuku!  
  
All: What was that?  
  
????: Me naraku!  
  
Naraku: Wait I'm here to help! _____________________________________________________________ Me how is this guy here to help? And why? Cliff time! Please review!!!  
  
Ps: read the next chapter! I swear it gets funnier  
  
Chapter 2: naraku's plan  
  
Naraku: wait I'm here to help!  
  
* game show arena appears 


	2. chapter 2:the plot

Chapter 2: Naraku's plan  
  
Naraku: wait I'm here to help!  
  
*All of a sudden a game show arena appears *  
  
Naraku: help inuyasha choose his mate that is.  
  
Shippo: finally someone to get us out of the dark.  
  
Naraku: so I'll call up kikyo!  
  
All except Naraku/inuyasha:nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
*Kikyo enters *  
  
All: damn.  
  
Naraku: first of course I'll intro the author, vone!  
  
Vone: ok inuyasha check this. I'm gonna pursuade you with a few comparisons. Kikyo is nothing but rotted flesh, dirt, and bones. I mean come on! For Christ's sake! She can't even take a bath, plus the fact that she smells like- no worse than old musty, molded gym socks.  
  
Kikyo: shut the fuck up and go to hell.  
  
Vone: . Naraku we may have to cancel the show.  
  
Naraku: w-w-why?  
  
Vone: draws sword cause I'm about to dismember this bitch!  
  
Inuyasha: no don't kiss her you bastard!  
  
*All just stare*  
  
Vone: dismember means decapitate.  
  
Inuyasha: I knew that.  
  
Naraku: loud vone please ignore that unworthy bitch.  
  
Vone: I'm still a little steamed so I think we will take a break. See ya!  
  
Psst! Please review! Also I need ways to torture kikyo! Thanks! = ) 


	3. chapter 3: a threesome?

Chapter 3: a threesome!?!?  
  
Disclaimer: don't own don't sue. You do screw you.  
  
SR: sup, I'm back! It's been awhile but now it gets a lot funnier I promise.  
  
SR: btw; kk I'll have to use your idea more towards the end of the story. Otherwise it would be kind of short.  
  
SR: well lets get this show on!!!  
  
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$  
  
Vone: Naraku continue.  
  
Naraku: yes lord vone. But before we get inuyasha's feelings we'll listen to the crowd.  
  
Miroku: why don't they have a threesome?  
  
Miroku: why don't they have a threesome?  
  
Sango, kagome, kikyou, and inuyasha: sango takes boomerang and slams it right between his legs. Then kagome and kikyo simultaneously shoot him in the ass. Then for the finisher inuyasha uses the tetsiga and Splits him right down the middle.  
  
All except the previously listed: damn!!!!!!!  
  
Miroku: h-h-h-h-h-h-h-holy f-f-fuck!!!!  
  
Naraku: *looks disappointed* well that's not a possibility.  
  
Vone: well that's a good start.  
  
Nara: well sango?  
  
Sango: I think inuyasha should date Kagome, because kikyo killed him and pinned him to a tree for 50 years.  
  
Vone: good point. Now we-  
  
Sesshomaru: no! My turn! (Turns to kikyou and gets on knees) kikyou pay these idiots no mind! Kikyo! Come with me! Be my queen! And please, please (gets earnest look in eyes) Bare my child!!!!  
  
Kikyo: really? Yes sesshomaru! I will! But --  
  
Sesshomaru: see miroku! That's how you do it!!!  
  
Miroku: aahhhhhhhh.  
  
Takes notes for later.  
  
Kikyo: I hate all of you!!!  
  
Begins to cry  
  
Sesshomaru: oh shut up wrench! If we were in the western lands I'd have you killed!  
  
Kag: I agree.  
  
Kikyo: yeah, bitch!? Yo mama!  
  
All except Kagome: oooooooooh!  
  
Kagome: oh, no the fuck you didn't! Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell I hear her yell Ding!  
  
Kikyo: yeah? Well Yo mama so fat, she went to sea world to get baptized!  
  
Kagome: ok, Yo mama so poor, she waves a Popsicle around and calls it air- conditioning!  
  
Kikyo: well then Yo-  
  
Vone: ENOUGH!!! YOU BOTH DRIVE ME MAD!  
  
Vone: save that for after the show.  
  
Nara:. well lets continue with the show! And I have a surprise! A new guest, Koga!  
  
Inu: damn wolf.  
  
Koga: Inu, just pick kikyo. You know Kagome's mine.  
  
Inu: no way hose! She's-  
  
Vone: ooooooo! Are you choosing?  
  
Inu:.  
  
Koga: aawwwwwww!!! The little mutt is embarrassed!  
  
Inu: am not!!  
  
Vone: then who do you love?  
  
Inu: k-k-k.  
  
All: yeah.  
  
Inu: k-k-k.  
  
All: yeah.  
  
Inu:.rin.  
  
Sesshomaru: what! INUYASHA SHE'S NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DATE, AND EVEN IF SHE WAS, SHE WOULDN'D DATE A TWO-TIMING SCRUB LIKE YOU!!!!!!  
  
Inu: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!  
  
Sesshomaru: what's so funny?!  
  
Inu: it was a joke!  
  
Kagome/kikyo: whew.  
  
Vone: sess he's pushin your buttons.  
  
Sess: inuyasha let me tell you something. You better watch your back. Cause at the end of the show I'll Be chewin on it. Doggy style.  
  
All shudder.  
  
Rin: (nudges Miroku) what does doggy-style mean?  
  
Miroku: whispers in rin's ear  
  
Rin: gasps inuyasha, stay away from sessomaru-sama!!!  
  
Sess: glares daggers at Miroku. not that way Rin. Actually I'll transform into a large dog and rip inuyasha's guts out.  
  
Inu: well to protect me from your bad breath, I'll use these.  
  
Holds up a pack of tick - tacks which sessomaru can't pronounce  
  
Sess: what? Ting- tongs?  
  
Inu: hahahahaha!! Tick- tacks idgit!  
  
Sess: I lord of the western lands has never heard of this.  
  
Inu: I don't see how, they're made/sold in America.  
  
Sess: so!? What am I a marketing expert?  
  
Inu: lets find out!  
  
Draws sword  
  
Vone: Yo chill ok? Save that too.  
  
Inu: what are you a preserver?  
  
Vone: I'd watch my mouth if I were you.  
  
Inu: Make me.  
  
Vone: up, sit, piss, and shit, and shaddup!!!  
  
Inu: (jumps up ten stories, falls twenty, and you know the rest).  
  
Inu: what!!  
  
Vone: I told you. I tapped into kaede's spell. Now I can make you do what I want you to do. Now go to the bathroom.  
  
Inu: you son of a-  
  
Vone: ahem.  
  
Inu: goes into bathroom  
  
Vone: well now, this landscape won't last very long here. Let's go to Kagome's house.  
  
All: ok!  
  
Teleport to Kagome's house  
  
Vone: here we are!  
  
Inuyasha: hmph.  
  
(Kagome's mom walks in) mom: oh hi kids! Can I get you anything?  
  
Kagome: no thanks mom! I th-  
  
Miroku: there is one thing you can do for me.  
  
Grabs Kagome's mom's hands and gets on his knees  
  
Miroku: I wish for you to bear me a son.  
  
Kagome: ok you're dead and not even go-  
  
Mom: sorry honey. But I've already had a girl. And I only date men 30 and up. ^__^ Thanks though.  
  
All stare wide eyed  
  
Kagome: mom are you feeling alright?  
  
Mom: just fine hon. why?  
  
Kagome: just checking.  
  
Mom: k! Walks out.  
  
Kagome: Miroku you are so screwed.  
  
Miroku: my intentions were-  
  
Inuyasha: full of shit?  
  
Kagome: whispers to sango and remember I need 132 of them.  
  
Sango: winks eye You got it! Walks out of Kagome's room.  
  
Kagome: ok everybody but Miroku come over here!  
  
Miroku: why not me?  
  
Kagome: it's a surprise!  
  
All huddle together  
  
Kagome: all right here's the deal. I'm gonna give Miroku 132 ex-lax bars.  
  
Vone: DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha: I don't get it!  
  
Kagome: sighs and explains what ex-lax is.  
  
note: I got this idea from the story inuyasha and exlax. The author is Neo- magic1000. Therefore they deserve credit for these next few parts.  
  
Well I think that's a great stopping place for now. See ya! Come back soon!!! 


	4. chapter 4: it's now or never!

Chapter 4: now or never!  
  
SR: sorry I haven't updated in so long. Time Warner started screwing around and I lost my Internet. Stupid motherfuckers!  
  
What you lookin at? I don't own shit.  
  
Inuyasha: damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sango: I'm back!!  
  
Miroku: I am happy to see your return. reaches up  
  
Sango was anticipating his move and takes her boomerang and smacks him so hard that his head bounces around like a bobble head doll.  
  
Miroku: t-t-t-that h-h-h-hurt.  
  
Kagome: serves you right jackass.  
  
Naraku: ahem.  
  
All: what?  
  
Naraku: 2 things: the main story, and the surprise.  
  
All: oh yeah!  
  
SR: well then let's ge-  
  
Loud crash as link  
  
(from Zelda which of whom I don't own)crashes through the wall.  
  
Link: oh yeah ready for soul calibur 2!  
  
SR: link. you're in the wrong world.  
  
Link: shit! It's this defective occarnia! I told Zelda.  
  
SR: yo link. if you wanna get to soul caliber its a-b-a-b-b-b-a-a-a-b  
  
Link: thanks! Plays occarnia and disappears.  
  
Inuyasha: oi! What about the wall!  
  
Kagome: SCREW THE WALL! I'M SICK OF THE RUN AROUND! Kikyo/Kagome both jack him up. In unison WHO DO YOU LOVE!??  
  
Inuyasha: sits dumbfounded  
  
SR: well? Quiring minds wanna know.  
  
Inuyasha: I love . Kagome!  
  
Pushes Kikyo off he embraces Kagome and kisses her.  
  
All except Kikyo : awww.  
  
Kikyo: wwwwaaaaaaaaaa!!  
  
Inuyasha: aw shut up bitch you knew it was coming.  
  
Kikyo: hick huh?  
  
Inuyasha: that day. In the forest when that huge monster was chasing you. I swore to protect you. And you held a knife to my neck!  
  
Kikyo: Inuyasha I-  
  
Inuyasha: save it!  
  
Naraku: may I be excused a moment. goes outside  
  
Everyone goes to the window and sees Naraku dancing around like a giddy schoolgirl.  
  
SR: crazy ass motherfucker.  
  
Inuyasha: and now. payback!  
  
Grabs Kagome's arrows  
  
Inuyasha: that's for pinning me to the tree for 50 years! And that's for Kagome! And that one is for giving the jewel shards that we worked so hard for to Naraku! And these 50 are just because I feel like it!!  
  
Kikyo: aahhhhhhhhh!  
  
Naraku: comes in what's all that racket? looks at Kikyo NO!!!!!!  
  
Kikyo: get the hell off me!  
  
Miroku: lets kill them both while we have a chance!  
  
All: yeah! All pitch in and vanquish (wow I used a big word! ^_^ ) Naraku and Kikyo.  
  
Naraku/Kikyo: nnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-  
  
Inuyasha: shut the hell up already!  
  
Kikyo: whatever. They shut up and die.  
  
Sango: now we can all live happily ever after!  
  
In hell:  
  
Naraku: so Kikyo how's about you and me hook up some time.  
  
Kikyo: sorry, you can't.  
  
Naraku: pshh, I'm evil. I can do anything.  
  
The end: unless you want a part 2. and if you do say so in a review!  
  
For a preview it's about Miroku, Sango and koharu. 


	5. yo let me holla for a minute

Author's note Yo.. I won't be updating until late October or early november because of renovations to my house so we have to pack up, stay in another temp place ( probably without a computer). But at least you'll have a chance to think about what you want to happen so. review! 


	6. yes it's true, i'm desperate

Ok here it is, the bitter truth.

I've got so much shit to do it's not even funny oh yeah and the reason for the ' useless' stars in ch1 was because I was being supervised while I was typing. But like I was saying I have run out of ideas and need help. BAD. If you have **_ANY_** ideas or whatever you want in the story just say the word and it will be in there asap.

Yo boy,

Shikkon-rage


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